We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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