I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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