is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
