Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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