i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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