You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
