All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
