my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
