Pappa wants mamma naked
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
