Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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