I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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