proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
