If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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