I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
