96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
