I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
