Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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