I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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