i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
pop tarts are not kleenex
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
