when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
