If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
