1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
