nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
