Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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