Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
