worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
