I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
