glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
