is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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