but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
