so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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