so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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