Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
