you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
