Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
