i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Actions speak louder than pants.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
