Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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