u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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