Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
