the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
