someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
