Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
