I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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