Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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