he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And then my night got REAL pukey
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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