Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So much rum. So many feels.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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