I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
