I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
