No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
