and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
