The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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