I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
